You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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