Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free