I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beers last night were like the tears from god
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize