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• (281): View more from Texas

  Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  college has opened so many doors for you

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Dude you promised

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