Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
