Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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