Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
try to milk me bitch
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