She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?