____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.