Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
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I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?