The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have tasted many bathrooms
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
