I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
