i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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