It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
