Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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