Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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