Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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