Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
