meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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