why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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