mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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