that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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