At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
