I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
