Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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