today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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