there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
