My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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