Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
