there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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