I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
