tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
