That's intense
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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