Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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