remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
