return my video game
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
