I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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