You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
