Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
