The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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