Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
