I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
