What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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