apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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