i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
