I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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