When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
