I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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