she peed on how many people?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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