Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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