i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I'm really busy with my period
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