Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
