So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
