I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
