I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Randomize
