He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize